3. Martha

3.  Martha.

“The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.”
David Lloyd George.

All I ever heard about Martha is that I should be less her, I think because she was busy serving, which always seemed strange because that was held as a high virtue for a member of the church with boobs. After all the Proverbs 31 guilt-inducing sister could basically do everything all the time, but apparently this was good because she didn’t draw attention to it herself like Martha did. Furthermore, if I was unfortunate enough to be noticeably like Martha I would be the recipient of gentle chastisement even whilst those correcting me were doing so sat on my clean cushions eating the cake I had baked.

Oftentimes in the culture that grew around church Martha was a cautionary tale, and her sister Mary should definitely be emulated. Mary sat at the feet of a man learning and we should all pretend that this didn’t demonstrate that she too was a disciple, one of the guys. Mary chose right – Jesus himself said it – and then there was a full-stop and an unspoken Martha didn’t. So I avoided Martha for fear that any lingering Martha-i-ness within me might manifest in her presence.

I actually hated this story. Mary annoyed me. Mostly because she got it right, and I didn’t often and that was a shameful problem and I needed to do better. Also there was a lot on my plate to do, and I had to do it, and sometimes I resented it anyway, which made the be-less-be-more and whatever you do don’t complain issue even more confusing and silencing and guilt-inducing generally. Ugh.

I’m so glad that the passing of time liberated me from my 20’s and that the three God liberated me from my coat of many expectations giving me a garment of joy. So often as we read together, me and them, I get to experience the thrill of reunion with those I thought I knew but had never really seen before.

So when I bumped into Martha on the road, I forgot that she chose wrong and saw I her for the first time, and loved her deeply. Their brother was sick, and the sisters had already sent for Jesus but he’d taken his sweet time coming, even though he was only a few miles away. In the waiting brother Lazarus had died and the mourners descended. When news reached them that Jesus was finally coming it was Martha who left the house full of guests, who left the cooking and washing up, and went to meet him on the road. She had hope in her heart and things she wanted to say, and she wasn’t going stay in a place of death any longer.

“When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. 21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”24 Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 

The teacher is here. The sisters had a nick-name for him, and I could see Martha walking the road looking for her friend. Walking away from the sorrow and loss and the public protocol of death towards the one she believed and believed in. I saw her so secure in his love, and honouring of his authority, yet fierce and ready to bang her fists on his chest in fighting for her brother. She, woman alone, ran the road to meet him because she had placed her hope in him. It was going to be ok.

“5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days,7 and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”” John 12:2

Jesus loved that little family. He loved them enough to stay away from them when they needed him most, so his Father could be glorified and they might know him more.

I’m drawn in by the statement “the one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever’s lives by believing in me will never die.” It feels like he was sharing with his friend a deeper deeper mystery. What did it mean? You can live even if you die….. or…. you can never die. Come a little closer Martha. Live by believing in me. I’ll have to marinade in that one for a while.

Martha got stuff done, including fixing the fact that Jesus was late and her brother died in the waiting. She got her family back together. And so I could read again the often quoted Martha story in the light of the deep friendship I saw had formed between her and the teacher.

“38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”” Luke 10: 38-42

Martha met Jesus because she opened her home to this teacher and his followers, she convened the gathering, and when she was cross she let him know. No simmering resentments or secret grudge, up front and honest, and seen by him. In the light of that relationship I heard Jesus differently too. I didn’t hear the be more Mary I’d been told, I heard be more Martha, Martha. I remember watching the sitcom Friends, and when Phoebe was asked to do something, her response was “O I wish I could, but I don’t want to.” So many times in church I wanted to be more Phoebe, but I wasn’t sure if Jesus would like that. His heart towards Martha was I see you crushed by expectations and pressure, and I want you free to do want you want to do. So maybe I can be Martha, and I can be Phoebe, but mostly I’m realising He just wants me to be me.

Liberating Martha liberated Mary for me too. I can be both and I can be me, and I am glad of this. I no longer believe that I must be one thing or another now, drink from this well or that, or link a passion for drinking deep of His presence with agreeing that the church has or ever had a historic position on marriage, for example. This new culture in the Kingdom of God seems more both and than either or.

In serving and soaking I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. And when I’m crazy busy rushing around I can still be at his feet at the very same time because I am in Him always and He moves with me. Whoop and Amen.

He called out to me “woman”
And I hid my face
Hearing echoes of shame and brokenness
But His gentle grace is wooing me
To walk in the name
And stand in the dignity
And live
And I know the touch of the potter’s hand.

 P.s. I also wonder if Proverbs 31 asks the question who can find a woman like this because basically she doesn’t exist, thankfully. Maybe I should meet her though and see what she actually has to say about herself.